I dreamed a dream....Wait what?

Inception?


WRONG!

This is not about levels of dreams, or dream catchers, or dream weavers, NO. It´s about a little something I like to call, JOY IN THE SCREEN(MUSICALS)! Fiddler in the Roof, Chicago, Phantom of the Opera, Cats, Hairspray, Rent, Oz, Nine, Love, etc... The list is endless and if you come to think about it, though considered a very homosexual culture, musicals are all about emotions and combining them with the great communicator: MUSIC. Have you ever walked around just walking pissed off along a group of friends and seen this:



THOUGH IT LOOKS GAY, GOTTA ADMIT THAT KINDA FLEXIBILITY IS PRETTY RAD

or have you ever just wondered if that special one is thinking of you and just busted out a Think of me Moment


(Gerard Butler did and he´s King "MOTHERFUCKING" Leonidas" )

Probably not. Let me tell you this, life is a lot easier with music. You may think yeah it´s gay when you´re just having a bad day and all of a sudden bust a move and start singing but have you ever just stood in front of your mirror with headphones on lip-syncing your favorite song? Have you ever started singing a random song that you just love that came up on the radio? Have you ever just been sitting in a restaurant on a date with that lovely someone when a romantic song comes up and you just stare at each other looking hopelessly foolish? Have you ever been so down you heard a Bryan Adams song and busted that shit UP because you knew deep inside your heart he knew his shit? Well my friends if you´ve ever experienced something like that, you´re in no position to criticize musicals.

Music is not just an industry that sells tons of prefabricated "artists" , it´s a way of expressing how you feel. Let me tell you something, expressing your feelings may make people call you gay. But not doing so may make people run for their lives when you finally snap and start to shoot up the farmer´s market. At times we all need a bit of theatricality in our lives, just living in a whimsically and flamboyantly, living life the way you want it, letting it all out. There are many ways to live your life and personally I´m not someone who would consider itself apt to tell you how to do it, but as long as you live it your way (as gay as it may look) you´ll be feeling smooth.

P.S. A SHOUT OUT FOR ALL THE GLEEKS OUT THERE!

Snap

It happens, it´s usually bad when it happens but we all eventually snap. Sometimes unexpectedly, sometimes even with people we didn´t even intend to or were not originally angry at and doesn´t it just suck after it happens. You know the feeling; your heartbeat starts raising, you stare at that person like you wanted to rip their head off, some of us walk in circles trying to either control ourselves or have some balls to go at it, you start walking in a B line just marching on cause you know shit is about to go down


(GOT YOUR SHIT IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN FACE?)

It usually starts off in a calm yet terrorizing way when you start doing your "smart talk" trying to come up with some bullshit speech intended to intimidate the other person and as you walk you slowly surround them, then ALL FUCKING HELL BREAKS LOOSE


(HELL BROKE LOOSE)

At this point there is nothing one can explain, the turmoil is running wild. People are screaming (You tend to hear several people but it´s actually your evil demonic side with a million voices)




(A FUCKING LEGION)

and while that unlucky fella who just happened to run into you on a shitty day just looks frightened, at times they snap back and there are just 2 legions of fucking a holes, there is bound to be a moment when you start feeling that adrenaline rush. Oh the fucking adrenaline, the adrenaline can make a schmuck like this



Into William Fucking Shakespeare, you start inventing insults people didn´t even dream about bringing douchebaggery to a whole new level of rage and anger and when that person starts crying (at this point there are tears in the building) and then you walk away and feel fucking infuriated, usually a dumb friend comes along says something stupid like:


(YO MAN YOU WERE FUCKING RUNNING WILD, THAT SHIT IS CRAZY)


And though that SHIT was indeed wild you just keep walking. By the time you get home you start feeling some regret and..............ah screw you and your expectations in my moral teachings, I´ll just make a list:

1.CALM THE FUCK DOWN!
2. BREATHE
3. CALM THE FUCK DOWN!!
4.TALK IT OUT
5.CALM THE FUCK DOWN!!!
6.Go for a jog or something
7.CALM THE FUCK DOWN!!!!
8. Just take it easy cause angry people just make me spill my coffee....and I don´t even drink coffee

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus....Bullshit

Have you ever heard somebody say shit like: "ALL MEN ARE THE SAME, FUCKING ASSHOLES", or a guy say shit like: "ALL WOMEN ARE SLUTS,GOLD DIGGERS, ALWAYS LOOKING FOR THEIR BEST INTEREST, FUCK EM ALL" and both guys and chicks saying shit like: "I AIN´T EVER FALLING FOR NO PIECE OF SHIT LIKE THAT AGAIN, NEVER AGAIN"



(Ladies and Gentlemen, it was a breakup not the fucking Holocaust so just chill the fuck down, they forgave the Germans and so can you forgive women or men all over the world)

And then the problems begin, men start treating the women they date like shit and women start acting like their vaginas like they were some sort public pool at the YMCA (ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS GET IN, ALL OF YOU)and start treating any guy who tries to break their house of bricks


(CAUSE SHE´S A BRICK HOUSE!!!!)

With hostility and this strange thirst of revenge trying to screw over the feelings of anyone trying to get near her. Don´t get me wrong, guys to that too and they tend to do some crazy shit. Going around trying to tap their ex´s best friend, their mom, their sister (when the law allows it, and in some cases not even that) and just go around sleeping and making out with random people. The worst part of all is when this guys and girls start giving you advice on how to handle your relationship problems. Guys will tell you the sort of shit that would make your man whore of a Grandfather (my case, lived with 5 women simultaneously and spawned 36 offsprings) say shit like: "MOTHAFUCKA YOU CRAZY"; advice like: "FUCK HER AND LEAVE HER, GO AHEAD AND GET SOME MORE PUSSY" or "JUST GO FIND SOMEBODY ELSE, YOU GOT NEEDS CAUSE YOU A MAN". Chicks well I´m not really knowledgeable in chick advice but they usually end up in some sort of stop believing in love and how they need to be empowered and depend on no one and that sort lesbian feminist chick bullshit. In reality we have to face the truth, men are always gonna be dicks and women are always going to be pushy and bitchy, but that´s nature and that´s reality. The key in finding love is not trying to find someone who´s going to be perfect, it´s finding someone who at the end of the day gives you that goofy looking smile and say to yourself: "Damn, I could take this bullshit all my life and I´d still be happy cause it´s totally fucking worth it". Keep the faith in love fellas, cause you might not believe in it but it sure as hell believes in you.

The Mattress Maker Affair

No, I did not sustain an amorous affair with a woman who makes mattresses, it´s not like that (you guys should really learn to read between the line. The team I support from the Spanish "La Liga" is Atlético de Madrid known as "Los Colchoneros" and in a direct translation it means mattress makers, and NO, I AM NOT HAVING AN AMOROUS AFFAIR WITH AN ENTIRE SOCCER TEAM. Shame on you guys and on your kinky minds, you ought have some decency for fuck´s sake.


(You really should)

For those of you with a workable knowledge of Spanish soccer competitions, you are aware that the biggest teams are Barcelona and Real Madrid so I often get the question why is it that I chose to stand for a team that´s as regular as life; with ups and downs and moments of shame and glory, things change for us in the blink of an eye. Nobody likes to lose, but we all eventually do and the fall from grace makes a bigger bang when you´re not used to falling so why would you stand for a team that hunts nothing but glory and championships not the joy of it´s fans and sweet agony of a hard earned triumph? Why would you stand for something that does not represent you or what you might live? Complicated question when you think about it, yes this does not seem like my usual self but just keep rolling with me, because throughout life you pursue nothing but individuality. You pursue your dreams, your goals, your happiness and though they´re not mutually exclusive the one common factor is YOU, YOU are the one chasing YOUR dreams. So that´s how I came to this affair (Not amorous again, I am not gay and do intend to engage in sexual intercourse with 24 men) because the mattress makers stand for what I believe captures the whole experience of living, in the words of Frankie: "That´s life..". You can´t always expect to live in the bright side of the moon cause that would be trying to deny that which makes us differ from deities, the joy of erring and learning from the past so we can grow in the future.



“Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.”

The Stressful Exam Deviation

The first days of my stories I was basically reporting my awesomeness and thoughts on a daily basis but I encountered a detour that we (those who have jumped on board in the scholastic adventure) all have once faced and that is one of the most stressful, most painful and most exhausting and excruciating experiences in life, TESTING. Yes, we all do study and prepare for our routine examinations but we eventually all do encounter doubt and hesitation before the moment of truth. It´s simply an experience we all encounter, and it´s not just testing that will stress you out (high school and college are actually the beginning of the storm before we find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow) because when you think about it, EVERYTHING turns out to be a fucking test. They vary from person to person and just evolve throughout your stages of life


(This is what you´re going through, it burns but not as much)


(This is more like it, motherfuckers who will come from everywhere and try to shred you to pieces but let me elaborate)

Testing does not end when you get that dreamed handshake and piece of shit piece of paper that credits you as a productive member of society, that´s just the beginning of it. That´s when all hell breaks lose


(Yeap, Strangers just want to fuck us all over)

We´re talking about job interviews, serious dating, meeting in laws, promotion interviews (if you get the job in that corporate environment that encourages you to grow and strive in life), having kids, P&T conferences, discipline with your children, buying cars and houses, and well it´s just all a fucking chaos that takes us to the limit.


(Suddenly being sad for no reason seems to be perfectly fine, who would have thought those emo pussied had it right the first time)

Then we start getting hobbies, smoking, drinking and gambling and all sorts of ridiculous shit we youngsters laugh about and ridicule about grown ups when in reality we all end up doing similar stuff and well there is nothing really we can do to avoid it but try to take things calm and just go with it. That´s right fellas just let it go.

Moving On

The Break Up pretty much stated what needed to be done, changes and the kind of changes that would freak out a regular person but considering the fact that it´s either do or die, change or get extinct, rock or suck and well basically you get my feeling that changes in my life are desperately needed even though I reek of awesomeness I just can´t deny what Bowie said "Changes are taking the pace I'm going through "


(Lightning in the face and all this MUTHAFUCKA HAS IT GOING ON)

So taking aside the comedic approach I usually take it´s time to get busy


(NOPE, not that type of getting busy cause I may be awesome but I´m no Barney Stinson)

and so I came to wonder how it is that one makes this changes without looking like a maniac (You know that sort of MGMT live fast, die young I ain´t going to pretend kind of shit cause it´s a pretty good song but you got to admit those guys look pretty gnarly) and I just happen to stand clueless


(Nope, not that type of clueless)

so as I seem to stand in a small buoy in the middle of a typhoon just dazed and confused strolling without direction I would like to avoid acting upon first instinct and just really take the time to THINK. Cause when you reflect act upon baffling emotions (FYI the feelings for the break up girl are in fact dead, new act beginning) is just simply nerve wrecking due to volatility of results. We can´t change what we can´t control and usually feelings enter that category, so until I sort things out I´ll just give it a go and give life the opportunity to sway me away into the whirlwind of chances and choices it gives me. It´s complicated, and it´s a rough ride, but living and loving is definitely the rugged road I´m taking so to wrap it up I´ll end with one of the most iconic poems in history:

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

Glory Holes

Of course I said it, to all you fellows out there with kinky minds this is one you got right. For some reason there is one crazy statistic out there that claims that 3 out of every 5 thoughts a guy has are related to sex, but does that mean every guy you that is being nice to you is just trying to get in your pants? NO. See there are lots of movies and tv shows that talk about how guys dream about the day they lose their virginity or just trying to bang, YEAH I SAID BANG



You, actually most guys who actually think about sex tend to fantasize about girls they can´t actually get. Don´t get me wrong that doesn´t mean that you or all the average girls are at the reach of one´s hand and just a few drinks and the right words might take you to the sac, but I mean that sort of really badass girl who knows about cars, good music, shoots guns and is INSANELY HOT


(One can picture that in the bedroom and absolutely lose it)

Of course there are still sort of Rambo guys who just want to get the job done everyfucking where kinda like the usual Jersey Shore douche catching "grenades"


(The kinda guy that would make your dad cry if you brought him home)

But those guys are usually pigs girls don´t like and well guys don´t even want to be friends with (due to their constant telling of bullshit stories about how they banged a perfect ten last week; fyi Five two´s don´t count as a ten guys and girls). So don´t talk so much smack about how guys just want to get in your pants cause in reality we all have to admit a little pervert lives within us and well sex is just a natural part of life and I´m no Klingon but it sure as hell makes life,relationships and even friendships a bit more fun,casual and interesting. So just keep it real, wear a rubber and KEEP OFF THE CRACK.